Home Sweet Oxford

For the past few days, I have been trying to come up with the words to describe my Oxford experience.

Strangely enough, after countless essays, late nights hunching over working papers, and early mornings sipping caffeinated tea with a pencil in my hand, the right words are suddenly escaping me. How in the world do I convey the impact of such a life-changing opportunity?

Perhaps I will start with one of my favorite experiences during my time at Oxford: participating in a debate at the famous Oxford Union.

The debate chamber that night was filled with eager young students from every Oxford college and of every nationality. The debate topic: This House Believes the State Should Not Recognize Marriage. As, one by one, the guest speakers filed in to take their place at the front of the chamber, it was as though the busts of famous members that lined the walls were tilting their heads to watch, too.

Although I already had an opinion on the proposition, I tried to engage in this debate with an open mind. In doing so, I was completely floored by the poignant and articulate speakers to take the floor on both sides. Even the students who spoke when the floor opened to the general audience made impressive points. I found myself agreeing with both sides on some matters and disagreeing with both sides on others. Instead of remaining stoic and unmoving in my opinion, I found that my perspective evolved as the argument did.

In my first blog post, I wrote about my fear of and aversion to change. That fear has made me stuck in the past, nostalgic for people and places I could not experience anymore. I had resolved to spend this semester in the present, welcoming change and all of the new experiences that come with it.

Accepting change means accepting that people, places, experiences, and emotions are in constant flux. Nothing stays permanently the same; instead, they are endlessly moving and evolving. My opinions, preferences, and personality are not the same as when I stepped off the bus at Gloucester Green just over three months ago. Yet this scary change has actually ushered in new people and memories that I could have never dreamed of before.

I have embraced all of the beautiful change and wonderful experiences that this semester has brought. I only hope that whatever changes await me back home will be as glorious and confirming as this semester in Oxford has been.

From the Thames to Texas

My countdown to home has officially begun.

As the number of days I have left in Oxford grow shorter, the list of things to do when I get home has grown ever longer. Like eat copious amounts of barbecue, Mexican food, and fried chicken (sorry KFC, you just don’t cut it). And take long, aimless drives around my hometown with the windows rolled down and music blaring. As much as I have loved walking everywhere, I have missed those solo concerts in the driver’s seat when I’m stuck at a stoplight.

When I left the U.S. to travel around the globe, I thought that I would never want to come back, because my heart would always be somewhere else. Yet traveling has compelled within me a deeper appreciation for what I have, rather than what I am missing.

I felt as much when I was returning from my trip to Portugal yesterday. I did not realize how much of an impact Oxford had made on me, nor how deeply engrained it had become as my “home," until the idea of returning made my heart leap with joy. As much fun as going to new places and creating new experiences can be, there is something comforting about the place you call home. I can't even imagine what it will feel like to return to Texas.

Although a stunningly gorgeous country, Portugal's beauty is a completely different flavor than that of France and Germany. While the latter are steeped in tailored elegance, from the architecture to the food to the people, Portugal has a rugged brilliance that seems to be made of happenstance rather than delicately structured planning. From sea caves surrounded by crashing, powerful waves to rolling hills dotted with white stucco houses, every inch of Portugal rejects the western ideal of wealth and civilization. Yet the people there still take immense pride in what they do, from the taxi driver to the woman who makes pottery. Portugal is comfortably and unapologetically itself.

 

I, too, have become comfortably and unapologetically myself through my time abroad.

It is as though, before I came, I was living in a shoe that was too big for my foot. But through my time in Oxford, I have grown until that shoe now fits snugly, comfortably, and without any possibility of slipping and sliding.

I am excited to try the new fit back home in Texas.